Entertain Me
by 9peggy
Summary: Amy is bored with nothing to do. What's an obsessed fangirl to do with this tragedy? Go bother said obsession. Only the obsession is feeling humorous. Light Sonamy.


Amy lazily drifted into the room where her beloved Sonic sat on the couch, his eyes glued to the T.V. screen as his thumbs worked feverishly on the game controller. She smiled as she sauntered over, taking a seat beside him and hugging a pillow to her chest.

Not surprisingly, he took no notice of the pink hedgehog. She was a bit flustered that he hadn't already acknowledged her presence like a gentleman would, but she was still patient due to past experience with the lack of attention from the blue blur. So she leaned forward, stuck out her index finger, and jabbed his arm lightly.

He gave a startled jump with the sudden contact, keeping his eyes to the screen. "H-hey Amy."

She smiled with the progress. "Hey Sonikku! Whatcha'doin?"

"Eh, playing a video game." Sonic answered shortly, leaning forward in hopes he could better concentrate on killing the attacking aliens.

"What kind of video game?" Amy asked with innocent curiosity, craning her neck to look at the screen. Ew. Blood, guts, and gore. Defiantly not her thing. She's much more interested in the blue cutie next to her.

But Sonic can't really take a hint. And lucky for him, neither can she.

"I asked you a question, Sonic." Amy said, a small edge to her tone.

"Um, it's a….an alien-killing-game-thing…" Sonic replied, his attention span waning.

Amy giggled girlishly. "Alien-killing-game-thing? Hmm, must be new. I've never heard of it."

Sonic didn't reply, and instead he jumped up victoriously, shouting, "Yes! Eat that, sucker!"

Amy sighed, sinking back into the cushion irritably. "Sonic, you're not even paying attention!"

"Huh?" Sonic turned around, looking as if he had just noticed Amy. "Oh, um, yeah I am. I always listen to you, Amy. You tell such…such interesting things…."

He zoned out again as he started a new game. Amy huffed, moving farther away on the couch to show her distaste in his dedication to her, or rather, the lack of it. She needed _something _to tear him away from the game. Mostly because she needed _something _to do. She had been bored out of her mind all day, and there was literally _nothing_ to do anymore. Or at least in her opinion. But her opinion is what matters most, right? So, what does an obsessed fangirl do when she's bored? Go bother said obsession.

Besides, she hasn't seen her Sonic _all_ day. That's a long time for her! You could say she needed her…'fix'.

She considered bringing out her hammer, but that'd probably just result in him running away, and frankly, she's had enough of _that_. But what could she try? She brought out her mental notes of "Boys 101" that she stored in her mind, courtesy of all her glossy teen girl magazines she raved over when she wasn't chasing Sonic.

One: She could try flirting.

Two: She could try 'accidentally' turning off the game.

Or three: She could try annoying the heck out of him until he could no longer ignore her.

She already knew she could cross one off her list. Been there, done that. She's not in the mood for him to push her flirtatious attempts away in her feeble tries to win his heart.

Two was out as well. She may have her devious moments, but even she's not that evil. Turning off the game could result in wiping the memory that he works to hard to achieve. He'd be mad, obviously, and she knows better than to get in between a man and his video game. Or at least to an extent…

So that left three. That's one thing she _can_ do; annoyance was her specialty, according to most people.

"Soooooonnnniiiiccc!" She dragged out each syllable in a whinny high pitched voice. Sonic visually winced.

"Yeah?"

"I'm boooorrreeeddd….."

"Well, then, find a way to entertain yourself."

"But there's nothing to dooooo…"

"Amy, there's a whole world out there full of things to do. I always take a run. Why don't you try that?"

Amy glowered. "I can't run as fast as you, so it won't be as fun. Plus, I'll run out of breath and be all tired and stuff….that's not fun."

Sonic suppressed a sigh, his left hand leaving the controller for a few seconds as he reached for the can of _Pringles _on the coffee table, and tossed it to her.

Amy frowned at the object, as if it was a foreign device. "What's this?"

"It's a can of _Pringles_." Sonic answered as if she was a four year old. She glowered more heavily.

"I know _that_. I mean what's it _for_?"

Sonic's eyebrows furrowed with obvious frustration. "Sometimes if I can't run and I'm bored, I just eat."

Amy scoffed indignantly. "What, and get fat with all the calories? No thank you. You know I try to keep my body weight to a minimum, don't you? You know how hard I work for this look, right? Do you purposely _wan_t me to become obese? Well, _do_ you?"

Sonic's ear twitched with irritation. Finally, he paused the game and set the controller down, facing Amy with his hands raised in surrender.

"Okay Amy….you have my undivided attention. So tell me….just _what _do you _want_ from me?"

Amy smiled in satisfaction, positioning herself on the couch to get more comfortable. "Nothing really….I just wanted to talk to you. Is that so wrong?"

Sonic glanced at the game console, considering saying 'yes' but seemed to decide against it. "Nah, I guess not. So, what do you want to talk about?"

Amy placed a finger to her lip in thought. "How about something to laugh about? Tell me a funny joke."

"Okay." Sonic said, his eyebrows knitting together, thinking of a joke he heard last week. "Well, there was once a man, and he was walking down the sidewalk on one beautiful day."

Amy smiled, her chin atop the pillow she hugged and her knees drawn up. Sonic always told such good stories. She _knew _she wouldn't be disappointed.

"Well, the man came across the _biggest_ cookie he had _ever_ seen," Sonic spread his arms out to show the vastness, "and he was so excited, he tied the cookie down with some ropes to his truck so he could drive it back to his house. He was driving down the road, all happy, when suddenly he heard a crash. The man jumped out of the car and ran to the back of the truck to find the cookie on the ground.

""Seriously?' the man said, 'You fall on me? Get your butt back in the truck right now!' So he got the cookie back in the truck and continued to drive. He was driving and listening to the radio when suddenly he heard it again. Crash! He stopped the truck and ran to the back to find the cookie on the ground yet again. 'Are you kidding?' the man yelled, 'Get back in there, and if you fall once more, I'm throwing you in the lake!' So he put the cookie back and continued to drive.

"The man was almost at his house when he heard it _again_. Crash! Thud! He ran to the back and saw the cookie on the ground. He was furious. 'That's it!' he said, 'I'm throwing you into the lake!' And –splash!- he threw the cookie into the lake. The end."

Sonic sat back, clearly amused, watching Amy. She had a look of complete confusion written on her face. She didn't speak for several minutes, in which Sonic spent the time trying not to laugh.

"…Seriously?" Amy said. "Really? _That's_ the end?"

"Yep." Sonic said, scratching his nose. "Whaddya think?"

"It…it wasn't funny at all!" Amy tossed the pillow at him. "Seriously, you're always so funny, and you come up with _that_? Come on!"

"Well, thanks." Sonic replied sarcastically, throwing the pillow back. "Sorry I couldn't satisfy you, princess, but I'm not exactly a comedian. You could at least _appreciate_ the time I took just to try and entertain you. Where's my 'thank you', huh?"

Amy smiled smugly. "You tell me a good joke that can make me laugh and I'll give you a thank you."

"As if!" Sonic replied haughtily. "What kind of deal is that? Y'know, instead of serving you, I'd _like_ to get back to my game, thank you very much. You wanted a joke, and you got one. Now _please_, just leave me alone-"

"If you tell me a _really _good joke, I _will_ leave you alone."

Sonic paused, scratching his chin while he considered the offer. It sounded like a fair trade; she'd be less bored if she had something to laugh about, and he could get back to his game and away from her antics to annoy him. Besides, he's _always _funny. What did he have to lose?

"Okay," He spoke thoughtfully, nodding his head, "I'm up to it. Deal."

_I'm gonna make you laugh so hard, you'll never bother me again. _Sonic thought, grinning wickedly.

_I'm gonna make you wish you were dead. _Amy thought, smirking spitefully.

And as they shook hands, the madness began.

* * *

><p>"Knock, knock!"<p>

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow!"

"Interrupt-"

"Moo!"

"That was really lame."

"Jeez, you're hard to please…"

The two hedgehogs sat on the couch ten minutes later, each physically comfortable with a mug of coffee in their hands, but mentally, they were about to be driven up the wall. All Sonic wanted to do was get back to his game with Amy as far away as possible. She was a good friend, but even _she_ could admit she was annoying at times. And Amy was beginning to doubt her strategy; she wasn't sure how much bad pun jokes she could take before she would explode with over exposure. Still, at least she was doing something now.

"Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before. A man walks into a bar-"

"Heard it."

"…And said ow."

Amy rolled her eyes. "The last time I heard that one, I fell of my dinosaur."

"Hey!" Sonic snapped. "Who's the one that's telling jokes here?"

"Oh yes, sorry, great and almighty 'Joke Master'. Please, do forgive my rudeness and go on with the process of boring me to death." Amy gave a mock bow, trying to hide her smile. Sonic couldn't help but smile too.

"Alright, let me think….oh, I know a good one! Okay, so there was a lady, right?"

"Right."

"And she was walking in the middle of a desert, when she suddenly found a genie."

"Of course. Why _wouldn't_ she?"

"So the genie said, 'I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your husband will have ten fold of that.'"

"Excuse me?" Amy interrupted, "Whatever happened to the three major rules against wish making? Like in the movie _Aladdin_?"

Sonic stared at her irritably before saying, "I'm going to ignore that statement, because I know how to stay on topic. Anyways," Amy rolled her eyes, grinning, "the woman said, 'For my first wish, I want to be the most beautiful person in the world.' The genie said, 'Are you sure? If you wish this, you will only be the second most beautiful, your husband being the first.' The woman said 'Yes.' Instantly, she was suddenly gorgeous, but her husband was even more so."

"Wish I could wish for that." Amy said gloomily, picking at her short and choppy pink quills. Sonic snorted, and Amy to look at him in surprise.

"Don't wish that, Ames. You're fine just the way you are."

Wondering why he said that, and trying to shake off the fact that Amy was now blushing cutely, Sonic continued. "The woman said, 'For my second wish, I wish to be the richest person in the world.' The genie said, 'Are you sure? If you wish for this, your husband will still be richer than you.'"

"No duh, Sherlock." Amy said, rolling her eyes again. "The girl obviously knows what she's wishing for."

Sonic stared at her icily. "Would you quit interrupting me? As I was _saying_…The woman's bank safe was at once filled with millions and millions of cash. But at the same time, her husband's was filled with gazillion's and gazillion's of dollars."

_Is that even a real number?_ Amy thought, but she had the sense to hold her tongue this time.

"The genie then said, 'What is your final wish?' The woman replied, 'I wish….for a mild heart attack.'"

Amy gave a horrified gasp, clutching her pillow. "That's awful!"

Sonic only chuckled, taking a drink of his coffee. "I thought it was pretty funny."

Amy shook her head vigorously. "Nu-uh. _No_ dark humor. Ugh, that was horrible…"

"Alright, alright." Sonic snickered, "I'll choose something else….do you like blonde jokes?"

Amy shrugged. "Their okay….kind of offensive."

"Well, you're not a blonde, so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell it. Okay, so there was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were all out camping in the woods. The brunette left for awhile, and then came back with a bear. The red head asked, 'Where did you get that bear?' The brunette answered, 'I followed the tracks, I followed the tracks, and found myself a bear.'

"The next day, the red head went out to do the same, and came back with a bear. The blonde asked, 'Where did you get that bear?' The red head answered, 'I followed the tracks, I followed the tracks, and I found myself a bear.'

"The next day, the blonde went out to do the same. She came back all beaten up and bleeding with cuts and bruises. The brunette and the red head asked, 'What happened to you?' The blonde replied, 'I followed the tracks, I followed the tracks, and got hit by a train.'"

Amy, trying not to giggle, just shook her head. "That's so wrong. What if I told you that _I_ was once a blonde?"

Sonic scoffed. "Amy, I've known you since you were, like, two! You've _never_ been a blonde."

"I'm just saying, what if I _was_ a blonde, and I took that into offense?"

Sonic shrugged. "You would get over it because you'd be living proof that not all blondes are idiots, and they can be extremely smart."

_Man, what is up with the compliments I'm giving her today?_

"Tell me a different joke." Amy said. "And one _without_ stereotypes, please."

"Um…The duck walked up to the lemonade stand-"

"Don't start with that."

"Okay, uh….I only know one other, but you won't like it."

Amy shrugged. "Better than nothing. Shoot."

"Alright. There were three boys, and they went to a cliff side where they found a genie, and-"

"Again with the genie?" Amy protested, smacking him once again with her pillow.

"Again with your complaining?" Sonic shot back, "Fine, if it bothers you so much, we'll change it too….a wish granting frog….Yeah, anyways…

"The frog said, 'If you jump off this cliff while naming a wish, you'll receive a mountain of it.' The first boy said, 'Oh, I doubt this will work, but might as well try it anyways.' Stop right there!" For Amy had opened her mouth, "I know it sounds illogical, but remember it's a_ joke_, so just go with it for now. So the boy jumps off the cliff and yells, 'I wish for a mountain of money!' And, poof! He landed in a mountain of money.

"The second boy decided to try, so he stepped forward and jumped, yelling, 'I wish for a mountain of chilli dogs!" Sonic paused, studying the impassive face Amy made. "What? It's my joke, so I can make him wish for whatever he wants! So there!" He stuck his tongue out at her.

"So finally, the last boy came to the edge. He was about to jump, when he suddenly tripped on a rock. He yelled, 'Oh crap!'"

"Oh, EW!" Amy squealed, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "That's absolutely _revolting_!"

Sonic chortled, leaning his arm against the cushion. "I told you that you wouldn't like it!"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think it was going to be that….ugh!" Sonic laughed again while Amy sighed, her head hitting the arm rest. "I don't think jokes are working."

"What? You're not entertained?"

Amy blinked. "Well….I guess I _might_, maybe possibly, _could_ have been a _little _entertained through all the jokes. Just a bit."

Sonic shook his head. "You're impossible. I'm never getting back to my game."

Amy placed her chin in the palm of her hand, her emerald green gaze searching Sonic's. "Okay, I'll bargain with you. If you tell me _one_ more story, not a joke, and it _has_ to be something that I would like, I promise to leave you alone."

Sonic arched an eyebrow. "Promise?"

Amy held out her petite hand. "Pinkie promise."

Sonic nodded, locking his large pinkie finger with her small one. "Alright-y now…..Let's see, a story you would like….eh, I suppose you'd like a sweet story, wouldn't you?"

Amy gasped dramatically. "Sonic the Hedgehog? Telling a _sweet _story? Surely this is the first sign that the world is coming to an end?"

Sonic chuckled. "I agree; God help us."

Giggling, Amy shoved his arm playfully. "I thought you were done with the jokes? C'mon, on to the story!"

Sonic leaned back, propping his red sneakers up on the table and sipping at his drink.

"There once was a man who had a girlfriend. They were hitting it off pretty well, and they'd been going steady for awhile now. The man had decided to propose to her." Sonic had to mirror the smile that Amy gave him. He knew she always had a thing for the idea of marriage. "So, he took her on a cruise ride, and decided to pop the question during dinner. While she was getting ready, he was up on the deck going over the speech he put together and playing with the ring box. He was so nervous, that the box slipped in between his fingers and fell _right over the edge_."

Amy gasped at the right moment, and Sonic gave a satisfied smile.

"I thought you said this was a sweet story!" Amy said, her eyebrows creased with apprehension.

"It is, just listen. So, of course there was nothing he could do, now that the ring was in the ocean, so he just went to dinner without it. They were eating dinner, and he tried not to seem depressed and tried to enjoy the night with his girlfriend, but he couldn't take his mind off that ring. The waiter came to take their orders. He ordered a cheeseburger, and his girlfriend ordered the catch of the day."

Amy squeaked. "I think I know what's going to happen!" Sonic just winked at her.

"While they were eating, his girlfriend suddenly jumped up. She had bitten on something _hard_. And do you know what that thing was, Amy?"

Amy practically shouted with delight, "_It's the wedding ring, isn't it?"_

Sonic grinned.

"Nope! It's the cookie that was thrown into the lake!"

Amy's expression went from incredibly excited to completely devastated in 2.8 seconds. She plopped back down on the couch, her pillow falling deflated to the floor. She blinked once. Twice. Maybe three times before looking at Sonic again.

"Did….did you _plan _that?"

Sonic smirked triumphantly, leaning back and scratching his nose in a superior fashion. "Maybe…"

"I….I….I can't_ believe_ you!" Amy wacked him with the pillow so hard, he fell to the floor, holding up his hand to block her attack blows as she continued to deliver them in her fury. "Out of all the most _infuriating_, devious plans….I suppose that's your _sick _way of telling a joke, huh? I bet you did all that just so you could get a laugh at mocking _me_!"

"Now Amy, hold on!" Sonic shouted, finally grabbing hold of the pillow. "Yes, it might have been devious, even if it was genius, but I only did it because _you_ wanted to be entertained, remember?"

Amy stopped fighting him, standing up. "What? Oh…oh yeah, that…"

"Yeah, _that_. The reason we're even talking in the first place. Don't tell me you forgot when you were the one that was bored!"

Amy shrugged in a nonchalant way. "Well, I was distracted with the story. But, then again…" She giggled, leaning down to help Sonic up, "okay, I guess that _was_ pretty clever and funny."

Sonic smiled, brushing himself off. "You're _welcome_."

Amy snickered again. "Y'know, I think I'm gonna tell someone else that! That's a funny joke!"

Sonic paused, watching her walk out the door. "Hey, Amy, wait!" She turned back around. "Ya leaving?"

"Yeah…" Amy said, "That _was_ our deal. You make me laugh, and I'll leave you alone."

Sonic's toe pawed the ground as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, yeah, but did you_ really_ have a good, strong laugh? I mean, maybe I should tell a few extra, y'know, just to really seal the deal….I just…"

He trailed off and Amy was looking more and more confused.

"What do you mean by that?"

Sonic sighed. "Well, just that….do you _have_ to go?" Amy raised an eyebrow. "Uh, rephrase….I don't _want _you to go…"

"Oh…" Amy said, and then suddenly beamed. "Well, why didn't you just say so?"

She skipped back over to the couch, placing the pillow back in her lap once more and patting the seat next to her. A little overwhelmed by how unbelievably _easy_ that was, Sonic sat next to her, slinging an arm over the seat, watching the cute, pink hedgehog next to him smile that radiant grin. His own lips found themselves upturning. It was crazy how simple it was to make her smile just by being with her.

Or in this case, telling lame jokes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I haven't written for awhile now...I needed a good, Sonamy-ish humor fic to entertain myself with. :) The main joke was told by one of my good friends. I was about as mad as Amy was. I love a fluffy, even sometimes cliche, story. But I still had a lot of fun with this piece, which turned out to be much longer than I expected... Hope you enjoyed! Remember to review if you like, and Merry Christmas to all! :)

_See that blue button down there? Click it. Magical things behold when you do._


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